4118, Show Me Going
by brooklyn99addict
Summary: Three little words changed Amy's life forever. Co-written by: Theb99fangirlnextdoor
1. Chapter 1

Everything changes when I hear Rosa's voice over the radio. " Diaz, 4118, Show me going."

It was just a typical day when it happened. I'd been out all morning on a stakeout with Jake, we'd got the guy and walked into the bullpen with him. Jake made some stupid joke, but nobody laughed. Not even Charles. They were all gathered around a very pale Gina's desk. "Shhhh!"

"Diaz, 4118, show me going." The badge number is familiar to me, but my mind was blank. "4118 we have you going."

It's Rosa.

Part of me wants to turn around and run. But I can't. I'm frozen. I can't do anything but stand there in stunned silence. Why do I feel like I've just run a marathon? The walls are closing in. I can't breathe. Rosa Diaz, my Rosa, is running into an active shooting.

And there's nothing I can do about it.

All my life I've identified as bisexual but telling someone made it feel a bit too real. We're living in an age where homophobia and racism still exists, and although it's better, I'm not sure I can deal with an entire group of people hating me. On top of that, there was a problem. I'd always believed the girl I wanted would never be interested in someone like me. It didn't make logistical sense, how could someone like her like me? She's smart, tough, hard to read and really pretty. Screw that, she's downright sexy (if a little scary) And there I was, sat in my pantsuit organising my desk and sniffing binders.

I didn't have a hope.

But it was okay because I had no time for dating. I was going to be the NYPD's youngest ever captain. It's all I've ever wanted since I was little, and I wasn't about to give that dream up, even if it meant I had to tolerate Jake teasing me about being single, and Charles rubbing his sex life in my face.

That all changed nearly two years ago. I was getting ready to be set up by Kylie. She'd been begging me to go on a date for months, and I eventually agreed, but with no promises of a relationship afterwards. I was only going tonight to get her to shut up and leave me alone.

I stood in front of my closet, staring at the clothes options. Of which there weren't many. It was either my work clothes or a slinky black cocktail dress I didn't know I had. I pulled the cocktail dress out, holding it against my body and staring at myself in the mirror. It really wasn't my style. Can you turn up to a date in a suit?

Half an hour later I decide to brave it and choose the cocktail dress, knowing my date would probably walk off if I turned up in a pantsuit. Not that it mattered. I was only going to make Kylie happy. Definitely not to get a girlfriend. I'm far too busy for that nonsense.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, running my hands down the close-fitting fabric. It wasn't anything special, but I actually looked kind of hot in it. I messed around with my hair for a bit, trying to experiment with different styles I saw on Pinterest, but eventually, I just leave it down. A little bit of light makeup and a nude lipstick to compliment my look, and I'm done.

I think.

The natural makeup look is in now, right?

Maybe I should try putting my hair up one more time.

The place I'm going to is fantastic. It's a lively lesbian bar not far away from my apartment. The drinks there are incredible, reasonably priced (for Brooklyn) and they've got live music playing every other night.

Blind dates are awkward because you don't know what the date looks like so you can't go find them. I text Kylie to let her know I'll be waiting at the bar for my date and take a seat on a nearby stool. I hear a loud, piercing wolf whistle which makes me jump slightly. I turn around to find Mike (the bartender) smiling and pushing my usual towards me. "Hey girl, how you doing? You look fucking hot, got a date tonight?" I grin into my martini, blushing slightly. "Yeah I do, I'm just waiting for her now. I'm a little nervous, to be honest." I take a sip of my drink as Mike chuckles to himself. "You've nothing to be nervous of! If I were straight, I'd totally ask you out! I'm sure whoever you're meeting is going to love you."

Mike and I are chatting about work when someone pats me on the back. I take another big sip of my drink and signal for another before turning around to smile at the woman that stood before me.

Oh my God.

She was hot.

"Hi, Amy right?" Jenny asked, offering her hand. I take it and try to get the words out "Yeah, I take it you're Jenny?" Jenny nodded slightly, making her long blond hair bob. "What you drinking?" I try not to stare as she takes a seat next to me, her tanned legs curling underneath her dainty body. "I think I'll go with a silk panty." I grin, raising my drink "No way! That's what I drink!"

Jenny was cute, funny and articulate. She was 35, a doctor specialising in emergency medicine, she grew up with four brothers and had a deep love for stationary and tests. Best of all, she'd been chatting with me for the last 30 minutes and hadn't walked off yet.

I turned to Mike to order another drink when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a girl with curly black hair and a leather jacket smirking at me.

Was that... Rosa?


	2. Chapter 2

I'm heading downtown for lunch when it comes over the radio. Active shooting situation at a local museum. 2, possibly three gunmen, and multiple casualties. ESU are on their way, but they're requesting backup.

I'm close to where it is. I could go and help out. My mind drifts to Amy, how she wanted to come out with me for lunch but had to go on a stakeout. Now was not the time to be worried about stupid things like love. If she were me, she'd do the exact same thing. Sighing, I pick up my radio "Diaz, 4118, show me going". There's a pause as I wait for dispatches response "4118 I have you going" That's it. I'm officially charging into an active shooter situation. Turning on my sirens, I put my foot down.

It was nearly two years ago when I decided to try out the lesbian bar in town. I'd just closed a three-month-old case, and I wanted to celebrate. For me, being bisexual doesn't mean being gay one weekend and straight another. I don't head out deciding I want to fuck a guy or girl, I fuck whoever I'm attracted to. So, in that sense, it was unusual for me to go into a lesbian bar. But I'd been to pretty much every other bar in Brooklyn (or at least the good ones) and wanted to try something new.

Boy, was I glad I did.

I glanced up from my whiskey to find someone who looked like Amy Santiago sitting across the bar with a girl. Only Amy wasn't gay, and I'd never seen her dressed up like this before. Her hair was down, she had a little bit of makeup on, and was wearing a tight black cocktail dress. It can't be Amy.

Can it?

Come to think of it, the girl could be Amy. She volunteers down at the BCPC running some sort of class, I don't know what, but she's mentioned it once or twice while lurking around my desk. I shake my head slightly. Now was not the time to play spot the co-worker. I was here to get pissed and bone someone, although, looking around, there wasn't much choice. I signal to the bartender, who approaches with a smile "What you having?" I lift up my glass "Another whiskey and a tequila shot." The guy nods, turning around to pour my drinks "She's hot isn't she?" I blink "What?" The bartender gestures to the Amy lookalike behind him "Oh. I guess." I hastily pick up my shot and toss it back "Her name's Amy." I nearly spit tequila over him "What?" The bartender grins at me "She's a regular here, and she's a detective." I nod, suppressing my cough reflex as I swallow repeatedly and gesture to my shot glass. He pours me another tequila and then leaves me with my thoughts.

Amy Santiago is gay.

I catch myself smiling at the idea that the hot brunette less than 5 meters away from me with a body that doesn't look like it's ever been fucked right is gay, and quickly correct myself. But it was good to know. Maybe coming here would be worth it.

It was that moment when Amy glanced up and spotted me, looking as confused as I felt, but quickly turned back to the girl in the red dress next to her.

I positioned myself, so I was sat directly behind Amy's date and waited. A few girls came up, and I airily flirted with them, making sure I could still see Amy out of the corner of my eye. She was trying to focus on her date but was epically failing, not that her date noticed, she was still babbling on about her brothers. Fortune was in my favour that night, and eventually, I heard a ringing cellphone. The date picked up her phone and answered it.

Listening in was hard. The bar was busy, and one of the girls who approached me earlier is still flirting. But I heard "Doctor", "Emergency" and "Sorry". Before I could fully prosses what was happening, Amy's date had stood up, handed her a piece of paper, kissed her on the cheek and left. I turn back to the girl who's flirting with me, but she's already gone.

Now was my chance.

I subtly shift closer to Amy, wave the bartender over and order her a drink. I intently stare at my whisky, taking small sips intermittently as I focus on the words behind me. I can't make all of it out, but I know the bartender is teasing her. Amy nervously stutters something that only makes the bartender laugh harder. It's cute. Really cute.

I felt Amy's gaze resting on my back as I came to the realisation he's told her I was the one who'd bought her the drink. My heart begins to flutter as I take yet another sip of whisky to steady myself, faking nonchalance as I blankly stare at the wall in front of me.

Just as I'm drinking my last drop of whiskey, the sound of another glass being slid towards me becomes apparent. I'm no longer alone. The table wobbles slightly as Amy leans on it to sit on the stool. We don't speak at first. I've a feeling she is trying to find the words. "Thanks for the drink," I grunt, nodding slightly.

Amy's beginning to ramble in the way she does when she gets nervous, which would usually irritate me, but tonight it doesn't. I listen to her attentively, not that I look like it. I still haven't broken my gaze away from the wall.

I guess she presumes she's boring me or something because she excuses herself to order more drinks. "Mike, can we have another two shots please?" I try not to scoff. What kind of a name is Mike? "If I were you, I'd kiss her already." Amy blushes, shifting closer so they can drop their voices to a softer whisper. "We're coworkers, I don't want to make things awkward or messy," Mark says something else and winks at her, making Amy blush harder.

I still can't quite get my head around the fact Amy's a regular here. I don't even know how she found this place. It's not really her thing. Sure, she drinks with the squad when we're celebrating something, but otherwise, she's not a big partier. I, on the other hand, am rarely sober after 7pm, even on work days, unless there's some emergency or Jake's done something stupid and got us all put on overtime.

Amy is downing her shot on the way towards me when she's intercepted by a pretty blond who proceeds to hit on her. She does a pretty good job of politely declining the offer, but the blond won't let her past. Amy blinks a few times, smiling nervously and backing up a little. I can't watch any more. My instant reaction is to beat the shit out of the blond, but I know that was likely to get us banned from what appears to be a favourite bar of Amy's. Instead, I swiftly stand up and stride over to them.

I force myself to smile as I wrap an arm around Amy's waist and take the shot off her. "Thanks, babe." Amy blinks, not really knowing how to react, but quickly recovers, pressing herself into me a little more. I set my jaw and glared at the blond, who's staring open-mouthed at us."Is there a problem here?" The blond backs up slightly, suddenly uncertain, "No." With that, she flounces off towards the safety of her group, making Amy giggle. She has a wonderful laugh. "Are you smiling Rosa?" I am, but I'm not giving her the satisfaction of saying yes. I'd never hear the end of it. "Shut up," I say, still grinning. Amy squeezes up against me a little more, and I realise my arm is still wrapped around Amy's waist, not that she seems to mind. I nod my head towards the bar, and we approach it together, interlinked.

We staggered out thirty minutes later, Uber waiting outside for Amy. She leans in and pecks me on the lips. Before I've a chance to pull her in, she breaks, taking shaky, shallow breaths, gazing into my eyes as if she was seeking approval. Unable to contain myself anymore, I wrap my arms around her body, pulling her closer and pressing my lips to hers, our mouths fitting together like pieces of a jigsaw. She tastes of tequila and peppermint. This time, it wasn't like one of those close-mouthed kisses like you do when you're in seventh grade. It was a full-on, open-mouthed, borderline sexual kiss. And she was surprisingly good at it. I slid my hands down Amy's body, holding her close, while she wrapped her arms around my neck and gently tugged on my hair, sending shivers of pleasure running down my spine as the wind wrapped itself around us.

It's the Uber driver who breaks us away. He honks his horn and yells something about waiting times. I feel a sharp pang in my chest as I release her, urging me to kiss her again. I could tell she felt the same way. "You okay to get back to your apartment from here?" I raised an eyebrow, making her giggle slightly "Sorry. I forgot who you were for a second." Giving her one final squeeze, I step away and open the car door for her, grinning as she rolled her eyes at me.

I was so entangled in my thoughts I didn't notice my phone exploding beside me. No doubt the nine - nine heard me over the radio and were freaking out. I debate over whether or not to respond to them now I've pulled up a block away from where I could see the flashing sirens in the distance. I hurriedly pick up my phone flick through the stream of messages.

Holt: Dear Rosa, I trust you will do your job and return safely. Sincerely, Raymond Holt  
Terry: I know you'll make us all proud Rosa, but please look after yourself  
Gina: You go, girl!  
Charles: I know you got this Ro-Ro, stay safe x  
Jake: Holt is being an ass and won't let me join you. Be careful and don't play the hero. That's my job. Understood?

I steady myself and steady myself click on Amy's name. She's left me two voicemails.

"You have 2 new messages. New message. Message received today at 13:03" There was a pause before I heard Amy's voice. "You ass! Why did you agree to attend? I fucking hate you! I hate that you thought it was okay to just run into this situation! I hate you I hate you I hate you!" She begins to sob. "If you get shot, I swear to God Rosa I will kill you before that bullet does, do you hear me?"

I save the message and move on to the next one.  
"New message. Message received today at 13:19." Amy's voice was a little calmer this time, but it was breaking slightly "Rosa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just scared for you. I get that it's your job and I would have done the same. Please look after yourself. I love you."

I compose myself as I press reply. Amy lets it go to voicemail, which is probably better for both of us. " Hey dumbass, listen, I - "I catch my breath for a second, too aware of the time constraints pressing on me. "I'm going to be fine, so don't go all soppy on me and bombard my phone, understood?" I steel myself for what I'm about to say "Also... I love you, Santiago, I'll see you later, okay?" I hang up quickly as I haven't yet got around to having my tear ducts melted shut and Amy doesn't need to hear me sobbing like a baby.

Wiping my eyes yet again, I place my phone in my back pocket, put my bulletproof vest on, and run towards the chaos.


	3. Chapter 3

**Scully POV**

"4118, I have you going." My heart sank as I squeezed my eyes shut and tuned the rest of the precinct out.

I was just out of the hospital after my second heart attack in the '80s when Hitchcock and I were called to a shootout. Back then, things were different. We didn't respond to gunfire unless we knew someone had definitely been hit. It just happened so damn often nobody, including myself, took it very seriously.

However, my views on shootouts changed forever one night. Hitchcock and I were caught in the middle of an open fire situation. We managed to get out, but many didn't. Among them was an old friend called Barry. My first ever partner, he was a funny guy and brilliant at what he did. Witnessing his death left me with PTSD that haunted me for decades.

After that, every time I heard about a shootout, I'd freeze, remembering the events of that awful night. Only Hitchcock and my old captain knew why. Even now, 30 years later, I sit here in sullen silence as the events of that night play over repeatedly.

**Hitchcock's POV**

Seeing my partner go white, I passed him some peanuts and got him a glass of cola so he could just chill for a bit. I've always believed that food was the key to forgetting your problems.

"_Hey!_" Rosa's sharp tone woke us from our peaceful slumber. "_What did you do that for Diaz?_" Rosa glared at us, clutching a case file in her right hand "_I know you dummies aren't as stupid as you've been pretending to be and I need your help with a case._" I glanced over at Scully before turning to Rosa "_I don't know what you're talking about._" Scully piped up "_Yeah! We hate work!_" Not very helpful, but I'll take it. "_Don't play stupid with me._" Rosa growled, "_I know you're both the recipients of the Combat Cross_." Ah. That old gem. We'd been awarded it the night Barry died. I glanced across at Scully, who'd stopped eating his chips to stare at his feet.

Scully and I got promoted to detectives in the mid-'70s. It wasn't a good time for Brooklyn, but it was our peak. We'd seen it all. Serial killers, Rapists, shootouts, drug busts that went wrong and a whole lot more where that came from. Scully ended up with PTSD as a result of losing an old friend, and after that, we decided to slow down a little. Very gradually, we let other detectives take the brunt of the work. We watched many people come and go over our time together, and as the new replaced the old, we were just accepted to be the lazy detectives we're known as now.

The only time Rosa spoke to us was to yell at us, try to intimidate us and once, challenge us to a sit-off. Oh crap. That's how she knew.

I sighed. "_Okay, we'll help you. On the condition that you don't tell anyone that we helped you, you stop calling us morons, and you don't tell anyone we're capable of proper work_." Rosa held out her hand "_Deal_." Much to Rosa's disgust, Scully took it. "_Why are your hands so clammy?_" Scully beamed at her as she pulled away to make a hasty exit to the bathroom.

We worked that case separately so people wouldn't get suspicious, but eventually, we cracked it. "_This is to say thank you_." Rosa threw two pizza boxes and a pie in front of us "_Its lactose-free cheese, so you don't stink out the precinct after._" I smiled at Rosa "_Scully, and I have decided that so long as you keep our secret, we'll happily help you out when you need it_." Rosa nodded slightly "Tight." I watched her walk away before turning to the pizza, only to find Scully had eaten most of both of them.

After that, Rosa brought us some of her trickiest cases, and we built up a rapport with her. We taught her all the tricks we knew for solving tough cases, and she treated us to food afterward. Rosa was a good company and the only one of the nine-nine to treat us with any respect. She was scary sometimes, but today, I'm grateful for it.

**Terry POV**

Terry hates to hold music.

I'd been waiting for over an hour now. I needed to bulk up my plan, and this damn music wasn't making it any easier, but I can't hang up. Tomorrow was not promised.

I'm trying to keep calm, telling myself Rosa's tough. Holt's first Halloween with the squad was a perfect example of that. Some guy, easily twice Rosa's weight, came running out of the hold. She managed to tackle him single-handedly and hold him there until we ran over to help.

Rosa's the toughest detective I've ever had the pleasure of working with, but even she isn't invincible. All it takes is one momentary slip of concentration and bam! She's dead. Gone. Forever.

Terry needs to get through to these people.

She's a brilliant role model for Cagney and Lacey as well. She's tough, sure, but she's also sweet, and brave. She knows right from wrong and sticks to her morals no matter what, which makes her an excellent babysitter. I once walked into them talking about bullying. She told them that violence is never the answer, but if you absolutely must, you're allowed to defend yourself. She said the safest thing to do was hide or run to a safe place, like a classroom, a hospital or a police precinct, and tell an adult. Maybe one day she can even teach them Spanish when they're old enough — being bilingual means more job opportunities for my baby girls.

"Hello, you're through to vitality life insurance, my name's Mark, how can I help?"

Finally. The damn hold music has ended. Oh, and Terry gets to update his life insurance. That's important too.

**Holt POV**

When I heard detective Diaz's name over the radio, I was scared. Not only was Diaz my best detective, but she was also my friend and a huge part of our family. She has come a long way since I first met her. We hit it off from the start, but in recent years she saved countless lives, cleaned the streets of a drug that went by the name 'giggle pig', came out as bi, got herself a girlfriend in Santiago and so much more. Now, she was putting her life on the line to save others. While I was frightened, I was also extremely proud of her.

I tried to do my best to reassure the squad. To tell them that Diaz was currently working, but she would come back. That it would be okay. I don't think any of them were listening. I knew as captain of this precinct, it was my job to keep everyone here safe and as calm as possible, but it turns out I'm not brilliant with emotions, and therefore I struggled to express myself to them. I was kind of hoping Peralta would step up, but, to my distress, I couldn't see him anywhere. I was about to get Santiago to ring him when my own ringing phone brought me out of my thoughts.

Two minutes and thirty-eight seconds later I hang up. Three officers are down. I gaze out into the bullpen, taking in my squad. Everyone was coping in their way, but only just. Hitchcock was giving a very pale Scully a drink. Scully was panic sweating and stuffing his face full of peanuts. Jeffords was having a medical exam at his desk and looked like he was about to have a brain aneurysm. Boyle was at his desk eating Nattō and staring intently at his phone. Gina was yelling at someone from the bathroom (I can hear her from here), and Santiago was outside on the roof shame smoking.

Sighing, I stood up from my chair and stood in my doorway as everyone turned their head to look at me.

**Charles POV**

"Charles. Go cook yourself some weird comfort food and chill the fuck out." I stop refreshing my phone and glance up at Jake "She's going to be fine." I nod slowly. He didn't want to talk about it, and I wasn't going to upset him by letting him see me getting worked up. "I guess so. Thanks, Jakey" I head back to my desk to munch on my Nattō. It's a Japanese dish which I normally don't eat, but there's something soothing about the combination of salty and sour while I wait for the news.

I was the first person Rosa came out to. It was only because I was an annoying ass she came out at all. We were on a trip as a squad, staying over at Becca's as the trip had been a complete disaster. I noticed Rosa slink off upstairs and decided to pour a glass of water and follow her up. I wait on the stairs for a little bit. I had a funny feeling she was talking to her boyfriend, I was curious about who he was, and I knew Rosa wouldn't tell me. "_I'm in a room next to a cow orgy. We need to go home already_." Wait. We? That evidence was circumstantial. But even so, I take a chance and glance back downstairs. Amy was also on the phone. I couldn't make out what she was saying, so I decided my best shot would be to go up to Rosa and gently probe her.

"_What are you doing, Boyle?_" Becca replied before I could. "_I'm just brushing my hair_!" Rosa rolled her eyes "_Not you Becca_!" I smile and hand her a glass of water. "J_ust bringing you a glass of water_," Rosa grunts her thanks before downing it. Rosa squired me in the eye with a lemon earlier, so I was a little cautious about asking, but at the same time, I was desperate to know._"So who are you talking t_o? _Is that your Mr. hunk?_" Before she could reply, there was a feminine voice coming from her phone "._.. but it won't be long until we go home now babe._" Rosa froze for a second before quickly picking her phone up "_ I'll call you back later_." she hangs up. I glance over my shoulder quickly. Amy also hangs up. "_Wait, was that a woman's voice_?" Rosa shifts her weight and looks away "_It was my sister_." I frown, remembering an earlier occurrence "_But she called you babe. When my cousin called me babe, you said relatives shouldn't do that._ _What's going on?_" Rosa stared at me for a second. "_I'm dating a woman._" Oh my God. Rosa was dating Amy. Amy was dating Rosa. Oh my God. "_I'm bisexual_." I glance down at Amy then at Rosa "_It's Amy, isn't it_?" Rosa nods "_I didn't tell anyone because it's none of their business, but Amy wanted to, so I guess we're out now_." I had a feeling it was my turn to speak, but couldn't think of anything decent to say so it all came out in one intense lump before I can stop myself. "_Rosa, that's great! I just want you to know that I support-_" Rosa cuts me off "I_ don't want to talk about it right now. Just leave it alone Boyle_." Once again, cousin Becca spoke up from his room "_Gladly_." I chuckle as Rosa rolls her eyes.

After that moment, it was a little awkward. I'm awful at keeping secrets and certainly didn't want to out Rosa and Amy before they were ready. So she and Amy came out to the squad a week later, answered a few questions and then left it at that.

We became pretty close, even though Rosa denied it. I became her trusted confidant. We still didn't talk about relationships or dating much, but when we did, I helped her through whatever it was... I was so pleased for them when I found out. Those two are an adorable couple and

\- "Squad, listen up. I've just received a call."

Oh, God.

**Gina's POV**

It took everything I had to keep myself from spewing in Scully's wastebin when I found out. I clutched the desk with such ferocity I convinced myself I was going to break it but couldn't bring myself to let go.

I watch intently as Rosa locks the break room door and pulls the blinds closed_."I wanted to ask you to help plan Amy's date with me. She has a binder full of my favorite date ideas and is always treating me. I want to return the favor, but I don't know how." "She's into the whole movie and dinner thing." _Rosa sighed at_ me "I know that." _I blink_ "You mean I could have been Instagramming all this time?" s_he glares at me_ "Loads of people do that. I want this to be... special." _I_ no_d, trying to think about the sorts of dates Amy would like_. "What about going to a bookstore together?" _Rosa scrunched up her face_ "Pass. I want to fuck her, and there's no way she'll let me if she's got new books." _That was true. What would get an over-anxious geek relaxed and horny?

"_You said you do a bit of gardening, right?_ Rosa stares at me "_Yes. Why?_" I grin to myself. I was a genius. "_Why don't we hold a kind of trivia_?" Rosa pulls a face "_Nah. I'm not into that stuff_." I shake my head "_You'll be into this, Ro-Ro_." I shove past Rosa and open the door "_Meet me at Shaw's at 8. Bring Amy_."

I'd never seen Amy happier than when I told her we were going to be doing a trivia of sorts. The game went a little like this

I held a photo of a flower or plant up to them

Amy had to figure out its Latin name

Rosa had to figure out care instructions

If they got them right, they had to drink a shot. If they got it wrong, they had to do a dare It was a brilliant night, and we all had a lot of fun. I left Amy and Rosa stumbling into the back of an Uber to Rosa's flat. Annoyingly, Amy was too drunk to remember where Rosa lived to tell me the next day.

Thinking of the weirdo, Amy had just stormed across the bullpen with a spanner in her hand. Hmm... lunch or watching a nerd try to fix... whatever? I think I can do both. Besides, Charles is eating a gross bean thing, and it's kinda ruining my appetite.

**Jake POV**

I try to carry on with my day and ignore what's unfolding. Spiraling isn't going to help anyone. I just need to stay focused on my work and do my job. Simples.

I gulp as my hand rests on my notepad. Well, it was a gift from Rosa. It even smells of her. Rosa in the academy was almost exactly the same as she was now, except she was somehow scarier. We hated the drills with such a passion, I've never been one for fitness myself, and Rosa saw it as an opportunity to teach me to trust her. '1000 pushups' was born. If one of us said '1000 pushups' during a case (or anything else really), it means we're so sure we're right; we'll do 1000 pushups if we're wrong. And it worked.

After that, we went our separate ways but stayed in touch, and eventually ended up joining the nine-nine alongside her. We've worked hundreds of cases together, and she keeps me grounded when I'm wound up. Rosa has always been there through everything, even at 3 am when PTSD wouldn't let me sleep. In a lot of ways, she's like my really scary older sister, and I can't imagine what the world would be like without her.

That's it. I can't just sit here all day. I stand up and storm into Holt's office.

"No, it wasn't a suggestion, ESU has ordered us to go about our business as usual." As Holt continued to blabber on about how Rosa isn't alone, I felt myself fading. She was alone. She was charging into a shootout in a museum with a bunch of strangers. Every single one of them is going to be focused on themselves. Rosa's smart and tough, but she doesn't have eyes on the back of her head. She's nearly got shot once already (thank God for Boyle's butt) I doubt she'd get that lucky again. I need to get myself up there. At least we are capable of looking out for each other, and if the worst did happen, at least we wouldn't be depending on a bunch of random strangers to save us. Apart from the EMTs, the paramedics, and the doctors, of course.

"Peralta, are you listening to me?" I nod "Look; I'm worried about her too. But you need to go out there and do your job." I stagger out of Holt's office to see Amy speedwalking through the bullpen. I know better than to ask.

It was obvious, to me at least, Amy had a crush on Rosa. Just... subtle little things. Like the way she used to make up excuses to linger around Rosa's desk, and how, every so often, I'd catch her staring at Rosa's retreating ass as she strutted back to her desk. I'd always known Rosa was bi. Never said it, of course, I wanted to keep my body intact. The day they told the nine-nine they were dating was easily one of my happiest memories here.

"Why aren't there any updates?" I sigh and walk over to Charles, who's plonked himself next to my desk, as he frantically refreshes his phone every two seconds "Charles, you need to calm down bud. I know you're worried, but spiraling isn't going to help anyone." He ignores me and continues refreshing the page, so I tap him on the arm "Charles. Go cook yourself some weird comfort food and chill the fuck out. She's going to be fine." Charles nods "I guess so. Thanks, Jakey" Wow. That was easy. He stands up and ambles over to his desk, presumably because he's fermenting something disgusting in his drawer.

Once I'm sure nobody's looking, I grab my jacket, wallet and car keys and head outside to the car.

**Amy POV**

I felt the desperate need to bleach my eyes out after seeing that much porn. It's okay. I don't need google. I can do it by myself. How hard can it be to fix a damn toilet? I'm still staring at the toilet when Gina announces her presence.

Gina plays on her phone while I rant about toilets and porn "Are you even listening to me?" Gina smirks, stepping closer to me "Amy, Amy, Amy. I got this. Siri, call a plumber." Her phone responds in a robotic tone. "Calling Vigilantie Plumbers LTD" Gina was better than me at this. Suddenly, I feel very emotional " You deal with the plumber. Call me when you're done." With that, I stride out of the bathroom. I don't think I've been this firm with her before.

I'm no longer numb. I grab my cigarettes from my drawer and head outside onto the rooftop to leave Rosa a voicemail. I don't intend to scream at her, but that's what I'm doing.

She's so stupid; running out into shooting like that. Didn't she think of me? Of what we have? Of the squad? Did she think at all?

I pull out a cigarette and place it between my teeth, but my damn lighter won't work. I need it to work. Out of all the days in all of existence, today is the day I need it to work. Why is it not working?

"_Whoa, babe. Babe. Amy. Look at me._" I stopped pacing and glanced at my girlfriend. Rosa gently pulled the cigarette from my teeth. "_Lighter?_" Rolling my eyes, I handed it to her. _"Come here."_ She whispered. Rosa had never hugged me in the precinct before. "_Look, I know you're worried about Jake, but what did we say about the smoking?_" I close my eyes as fat tears roll down my cheek. Jake had been undercover for 4 months now, and I really missed him. Rosa looks around cautiously before asking _"Do you need a patch?_" I turn around to check nobody was watching or listening before nodding slowly. It wasn't a secret, but I was ashamed of it. Rosa sits me down on her desk chair while she digs around in her drawer. "_Aww... you keep patches for me in your drawer?_" Rosa fixes me with a glare. _"Sleeve up."_ I thought she'd make me put it on given we were at work, but she perches on the desk next to me and applies it herself. "_Thanks, Rosa."_ Rosa nods slightly, letting her leg lightly brush against mine. "_If you're ever worried about anything babe, just talk to me, okay? We'll work it out together."_

But she's not here. She's off being shot at in some museum. With a loud yell, I spit out my cigarette and throw my lighter over the edge of the roof. Sighing, I storm back into the bullpen "I need a lighter!" Lots of people turn to stare, but I couldn't care less. "One of you people must smoke! Who is it?" Terry undoes his blood pressure cuff and stands up. "Santiago, you've quit smoking." I nod "I know. But I need one." Terry sighs and walks over to me, grabbing my shoulders to steady me. "No you don't, you can handle this." I want to scream. "You're bumping up your life insurance. Holt hasn't left his office. Charles is a quivering snappy mess and stuffing himself with ethnic cuisine." Charles looks up "Hey!" I glare at him before pointing at Hitchcock and Scully "Even Hitchcock and Scully are just sat there eating peanuts and looking depressed, and I have no fucking idea where Peralta is!" I take a deep breath "Nobody is fucking coping, Terry. Now find me a damn lighter."

Four cigarettes later, I'm lying on my back on the roof letting my anger melt into the cold concrete below me. I needed to apologize to everyone, especially Terry. As for my girlfriend, Rosa was just doing her job; I shouldn't have been so angry with her. I can't stop thinking about these little moments. The first time we met. Going with her to that shitty boring town in the middle of butt fuck nowhere because I was a jealous ass and she told me she had my back. Our first kiss. Coming out to the squad. Jumping off a balcony to chase a perp, only to dislocate my knee and have Rosa reset it. That stupid competition we had over who could solve an unsolvable case first. All these little moments streamed through my mind like one endless reel of film.

I always knew that one day our reel would just... stop, but I didn't expect it to be this soon. I always thought she was going to die in some motorcycle accident aged 82 because she didn't want to give it up. I can't do this. I can't sit here in the freezing cold and think about her. I needed to apologize.

I spent a while composing a voicemail that won't gross Rosa out, given I had just screamed at her in the last one. It turns out 23rd time is the charm. "Rosa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just scared for you. I get that it's your job and I would have done the same. Please look after yourself. I love you." I hang up, only to have her call me back thirty seconds later.

I know if I pick it up, I'll cry and get angry again, so I let her leave a message. I can't bring myself to listen to it. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Scully POV**

"4118, I have you going." My heart sank as I squeezed my eyes shut and tuned the rest of the precinct out.

I was just out of the hospital after my second heart attack in the '80s when Hitchcock and I were called to a shootout. Back then, things were different. We didn't respond to gunfire unless we knew someone had definitely been hit. It just happened so damn often nobody, including myself, took it very seriously.

However, my views on shootouts changed forever one night. Hitchcock and I were caught in the middle of an open fire situation. We managed to get out, but many didn't. Among them was an old friend called Barry. My first ever partner, he was a funny guy and brilliant at what he did. Witnessing his death left me with PTSD that haunted me for decades.

After that, every time I heard about a shootout, I'd freeze, remembering the events of that awful night. Only Hitchcock and my old captain knew why. Even now, 30 years later, I sit here in sullen silence as the events of that night play over repeatedly.

**Hitchcock's POV**

Seeing my partner go white, I passed him some peanuts and got him a glass of cola so he could just chill for a bit. I've always believed that food was the key to forgetting your problems.

"_Hey!_" Rosa's sharp tone woke us from our peaceful slumber. "_What did you do that for Diaz?_" Rosa glared at us, clutching a case file in her right hand "_I know you dummies aren't as stupid as you've been pretending to be and I need your help with a case._" I glanced over at Scully before turning to Rosa "_I don't know what you're talking about._" Scully piped up "_Yeah! We hate work!_" Not very helpful, but I'll take it. "_Don't play stupid with me._" Rosa growled, "_I know you're both the recipients of the Combat Cross_." Ah. That old gem. We'd been awarded it the night Barry died. I glanced across at Scully, who'd stopped eating his chips to stare at his feet.

Scully and I got promoted to detectives in the mid-'70s. It wasn't a good time for Brooklyn, but it was our peak. We'd seen it all. Serial killers, Rapists, shootouts, drug busts that went wrong and a whole lot more where that came from. Scully ended up with PTSD as a result of losing an old friend, and after that, we decided to slow down a little. Very gradually, we let other detectives take the brunt of the work. We watched many people come and go over our time together, and as the new replaced the old, we were just accepted to be the lazy detectives we're known as now.

The only time Rosa spoke to us was to yell at us, try to intimidate us and once, challenge us to a sit-off. Oh crap. That's how she knew.

I sighed. "_Okay, we'll help you. On the condition that you don't tell anyone that we helped you, you stop calling us morons, and you don't tell anyone we're capable of proper work_." Rosa held out her hand "_Deal_." Much to Rosa's disgust, Scully took it. "_Why are your hands so clammy?_" Scully beamed at her as she pulled away to make a hasty exit to the bathroom.

We worked that case separately so people wouldn't get suspicious, but eventually, we cracked it. "_This is to say thank you_." Rosa threw two pizza boxes and a pie in front of us "_Its lactose-free cheese, so you don't stink out the precinct after._" I smiled at Rosa "_Scully, and I have decided that so long as you keep our secret, we'll happily help you out when you need it_." Rosa nodded slightly "Tight." I watched her walk away before turning to the pizza, only to find Scully had eaten most of both of them.

After that, Rosa brought us some of her trickiest cases, and we built up a rapport with her. We taught her all the tricks we knew for solving tough cases, and she treated us to food afterward. Rosa was a good company and the only one of the nine-nine to treat us with any respect. She was scary sometimes, but today, I'm grateful for it.

**Terry POV**

Terry hates to hold music.

I'd been waiting for over an hour now. I needed to bulk up my plan, and this damn music wasn't making it any easier, but I can't hang up. Tomorrow was not promised.

I'm trying to keep calm, telling myself Rosa's tough. Holt's first Halloween with the squad was a perfect example of that. Some guy, easily twice Rosa's weight, came running out of the hold. She managed to tackle him single-handedly and hold him there until we ran over to help.

Rosa's the toughest detective I've ever had the pleasure of working with, but even she isn't invincible. All it takes is one momentary slip of concentration and bam! She's dead. Gone. Forever.

Terry needs to get through to these people.

She's a brilliant role model for Cagney and Lacey as well. She's tough, sure, but she's also sweet, and brave. She knows right from wrong and sticks to her morals no matter what, which makes her an excellent babysitter. I once walked into them talking about bullying. She told them that violence is never the answer, but if you absolutely must, you're allowed to defend yourself. She said the safest thing to do was hide or run to a safe place, like a classroom, a hospital or a police precinct, and tell an adult. Maybe one day she can even teach them Spanish when they're old enough — being bilingual means more job opportunities for my baby girls.

"Hello, you're through to vitality life insurance, my name's Mark, how can I help?"

Finally. The damn hold music has ended. Oh, and Terry gets to update his life insurance. That's important too.

**Holt POV**

When I heard detective Diaz's name over the radio, I was scared. Not only was Diaz my best detective, but she was also my friend and a huge part of our family. She has come a long way since I first met her. We hit it off from the start, but in recent years she saved countless lives, cleaned the streets of a drug that went by the name 'giggle pig', came out as bi, got herself a girlfriend in Santiago and so much more. Now, she was putting her life on the line to save others. While I was frightened, I was also extremely proud of her.

I tried to do my best to reassure the squad. To tell them that Diaz was currently working, but she would come back. That it would be okay. I don't think any of them were listening. I knew as captain of this precinct, it was my job to keep everyone here safe and as calm as possible, but it turns out I'm not brilliant with emotions, and therefore I struggled to express myself to them. I was kind of hoping Peralta would step up, but, to my distress, I couldn't see him anywhere. I was about to get Santiago to ring him when my own ringing phone brought me out of my thoughts.

Two minutes and thirty-eight seconds later I hang up. Three officers are down. I gaze out into the bullpen, taking in my squad. Everyone was coping in their way, but only just. Hitchcock was giving a very pale Scully a drink. Scully was panic sweating and stuffing his face full of peanuts. Jeffords was having a medical exam at his desk and looked like he was about to have a brain aneurysm. Boyle was at his desk eating Nattō and staring intently at his phone. Gina was yelling at someone from the bathroom (I can hear her from here), and Santiago was outside on the roof shame smoking.

Sighing, I stood up from my chair and stood in my doorway as everyone turned their head to look at me.

**Charles POV**

"Charles. Go cook yourself some weird comfort food and chill the fuck out." I stop refreshing my phone and glance up at Jake "She's going to be fine." I nod slowly. He didn't want to talk about it, and I wasn't going to upset him by letting him see me getting worked up. "I guess so. Thanks, Jakey" I head back to my desk to munch on my Nattō. It's a Japanese dish which I normally don't eat, but there's something soothing about the combination of salty and sour while I wait for the news.

I was the first person Rosa came out to. It was only because I was an annoying ass she came out at all. We were on a trip as a squad, staying over at Becca's as the trip had been a complete disaster. I noticed Rosa slink off upstairs and decided to pour a glass of water and follow her up. I wait on the stairs for a little bit. I had a funny feeling she was talking to her boyfriend, I was curious about who he was, and I knew Rosa wouldn't tell me. "_I'm in a room next to a cow orgy. We need to go home already_." Wait. We? That evidence was circumstantial. But even so, I take a chance and glance back downstairs. Amy was also on the phone. I couldn't make out what she was saying, so I decided my best shot would be to go up to Rosa and gently probe her.

"_What are you doing, Boyle?_" Becca replied before I could. "_I'm just brushing my hair_!" Rosa rolled her eyes "_Not you Becca_!" I smile and hand her a glass of water. "J_ust bringing you a glass of water_," Rosa grunts her thanks before downing it. Rosa squired me in the eye with a lemon earlier, so I was a little cautious about asking, but at the same time, I was desperate to know._"So who are you talking t_o? _Is that your Mr. hunk?_" Before she could reply, there was a feminine voice coming from her phone "._.. but it won't be long until we go home now babe._" Rosa froze for a second before quickly picking her phone up "_ I'll call you back later_." she hangs up. I glance over my shoulder quickly. Amy also hangs up. "_Wait, was that a woman's voice_?" Rosa shifts her weight and looks away "_It was my sister_." I frown, remembering an earlier occurrence "_But she called you babe. When my cousin called me babe, you said relatives shouldn't do that._ _What's going on?_" Rosa stared at me for a second. "_I'm dating a woman._" Oh my God. Rosa was dating Amy. Amy was dating Rosa. Oh my God. "_I'm bisexual_." I glance down at Amy then at Rosa "_It's Amy, isn't it_?" Rosa nods "_I didn't tell anyone because it's none of their business, but Amy wanted to, so I guess we're out now_." I had a feeling it was my turn to speak, but couldn't think of anything decent to say so it all came out in one intense lump before I can stop myself. "_Rosa, that's great! I just want you to know that I support-_" Rosa cuts me off "I_ don't want to talk about it right now. Just leave it alone Boyle_." Once again, cousin Becca spoke up from his room "_Gladly_." I chuckle as Rosa rolls her eyes.

After that moment, it was a little awkward. I'm awful at keeping secrets and certainly didn't want to out Rosa and Amy before they were ready. So she and Amy came out to the squad a week later, answered a few questions and then left it at that.

We became pretty close, even though Rosa denied it. I became her trusted confidant. We still didn't talk about relationships or dating much, but when we did, I helped her through whatever it was... I was so pleased for them when I found out. Those two are an adorable couple and

\- "Squad, listen up. I've just received a call."

Oh, God.

**Gina's POV**

It took everything I had to keep myself from spewing in Scully's wastebin when I found out. I clutched the desk with such ferocity I convinced myself I was going to break it but couldn't bring myself to let go.

I watch intently as Rosa locks the break room door and pulls the blinds closed_."I wanted to ask you to help plan Amy's date with me. She has a binder full of my favorite date ideas and is always treating me. I want to return the favor, but I don't know how." "She's into the whole movie and dinner thing." _Rosa sighed at_ me "I know that." _I blink_ "You mean I could have been Instagramming all this time?" s_he glares at me_ "Loads of people do that. I want this to be... special." _I_ no_d, trying to think about the sorts of dates Amy would like_. "What about going to a bookstore together?" _Rosa scrunched up her face_ "Pass. I want to fuck her, and there's no way she'll let me if she's got new books." _That was true. What would get an over-anxious geek relaxed and horny?

"_You said you do a bit of gardening, right?_ Rosa stares at me "_Yes. Why?_" I grin to myself. I was a genius. "_Why don't we hold a kind of trivia_?" Rosa pulls a face "_Nah. I'm not into that stuff_." I shake my head "_You'll be into this, Ro-Ro_." I shove past Rosa and open the door "_Meet me at Shaw's at 8. Bring Amy_."

I'd never seen Amy happier than when I told her we were going to be doing a trivia of sorts. The game went a little like this

I held a photo of a flower or plant up to them

Amy had to figure out its Latin name

Rosa had to figure out care instructions

If they got them right, they had to drink a shot. If they got it wrong, they had to do a dare It was a brilliant night, and we all had a lot of fun. I left Amy and Rosa stumbling into the back of an Uber to Rosa's flat. Annoyingly, Amy was too drunk to remember where Rosa lived to tell me the next day.

Thinking of the weirdo, Amy had just stormed across the bullpen with a spanner in her hand. Hmm... lunch or watching a nerd try to fix... whatever? I think I can do both. Besides, Charles is eating a gross bean thing, and it's kinda ruining my appetite.

**Jake POV**

I try to carry on with my day and ignore what's unfolding. Spiraling isn't going to help anyone. I just need to stay focused on my work and do my job. Simples.

I gulp as my hand rests on my notepad. Well, it was a gift from Rosa. It even smells of her. Rosa in the academy was almost exactly the same as she was now, except she was somehow scarier. We hated the drills with such a passion, I've never been one for fitness myself, and Rosa saw it as an opportunity to teach me to trust her. '1000 pushups' was born. If one of us said '1000 pushups' during a case (or anything else really), it means we're so sure we're right; we'll do 1000 pushups if we're wrong. And it worked.

After that, we went our separate ways but stayed in touch, and eventually ended up joining the nine-nine alongside her. We've worked hundreds of cases together, and she keeps me grounded when I'm wound up. Rosa has always been there through everything, even at 3 am when PTSD wouldn't let me sleep. In a lot of ways, she's like my really scary older sister, and I can't imagine what the world would be like without her.

That's it. I can't just sit here all day. I stand up and storm into Holt's office.

"No, it wasn't a suggestion, ESU has ordered us to go about our business as usual." As Holt continued to blabber on about how Rosa isn't alone, I felt myself fading. She was alone. She was charging into a shootout in a museum with a bunch of strangers. Every single one of them is going to be focused on themselves. Rosa's smart and tough, but she doesn't have eyes on the back of her head. She's nearly got shot once already (thank God for Boyle's butt) I doubt she'd get that lucky again. I need to get myself up there. At least we are capable of looking out for each other, and if the worst did happen, at least we wouldn't be depending on a bunch of random strangers to save us. Apart from the EMTs, the paramedics, and the doctors, of course.

"Peralta, are you listening to me?" I nod "Look; I'm worried about her too. But you need to go out there and do your job." I stagger out of Holt's office to see Amy speedwalking through the bullpen. I know better than to ask.

It was obvious, to me at least, Amy had a crush on Rosa. Just... subtle little things. Like the way she used to make up excuses to linger around Rosa's desk, and how, every so often, I'd catch her staring at Rosa's retreating ass as she strutted back to her desk. I'd always known Rosa was bi. Never said it, of course, I wanted to keep my body intact. The day they told the nine-nine they were dating was easily one of my happiest memories here.

"Why aren't there any updates?" I sigh and walk over to Charles, who's plonked himself next to my desk, as he frantically refreshes his phone every two seconds "Charles, you need to calm down bud. I know you're worried, but spiraling isn't going to help anyone." He ignores me and continues refreshing the page, so I tap him on the arm "Charles. Go cook yourself some weird comfort food and chill the fuck out. She's going to be fine." Charles nods "I guess so. Thanks, Jakey" Wow. That was easy. He stands up and ambles over to his desk, presumably because he's fermenting something disgusting in his drawer.

Once I'm sure nobody's looking, I grab my jacket, wallet and car keys and head outside to the car.

**Amy POV**

I felt the desperate need to bleach my eyes out after seeing that much porn. It's okay. I don't need google. I can do it by myself. How hard can it be to fix a damn toilet? I'm still staring at the toilet when Gina announces her presence.

Gina plays on her phone while I rant about toilets and porn "Are you even listening to me?" Gina smirks, stepping closer to me "Amy, Amy, Amy. I got this. Siri, call a plumber." Her phone responds in a robotic tone. "Calling Vigilantie Plumbers LTD" Gina was better than me at this. Suddenly, I feel very emotional " You deal with the plumber. Call me when you're done." With that, I stride out of the bathroom. I don't think I've been this firm with her before.

I'm no longer numb. I grab my cigarettes from my drawer and head outside onto the rooftop to leave Rosa a voicemail. I don't intend to scream at her, but that's what I'm doing.

She's so stupid; running out into shooting like that. Didn't she think of me? Of what we have? Of the squad? Did she think at all?

I pull out a cigarette and place it between my teeth, but my damn lighter won't work. I need it to work. Out of all the days in all of existence, today is the day I need it to work. Why is it not working?

"_Whoa, babe. Babe. Amy. Look at me._" I stopped pacing and glanced at my girlfriend. Rosa gently pulled the cigarette from my teeth. "_Lighter?_" Rolling my eyes, I handed it to her. _"Come here."_ She whispered. Rosa had never hugged me in the precinct before. "_Look, I know you're worried about Jake, but what did we say about the smoking?_" I close my eyes as fat tears roll down my cheek. Jake had been undercover for 4 months now, and I really missed him. Rosa looks around cautiously before asking _"Do you need a patch?_" I turn around to check nobody was watching or listening before nodding slowly. It wasn't a secret, but I was ashamed of it. Rosa sits me down on her desk chair while she digs around in her drawer. "_Aww... you keep patches for me in your drawer?_" Rosa fixes me with a glare. _"Sleeve up."_ I thought she'd make me put it on given we were at work, but she perches on the desk next to me and applies it herself. "_Thanks, Rosa."_ Rosa nods slightly, letting her leg lightly brush against mine. "_If you're ever worried about anything babe, just talk to me, okay? We'll work it out together."_

But she's not here. She's off being shot at in some museum. With a loud yell, I spit out my cigarette and throw my lighter over the edge of the roof. Sighing, I storm back into the bullpen "I need a lighter!" Lots of people turn to stare, but I couldn't care less. "One of you people must smoke! Who is it?" Terry undoes his blood pressure cuff and stands up. "Santiago, you've quit smoking." I nod "I know. But I need one." Terry sighs and walks over to me, grabbing my shoulders to steady me. "No you don't, you can handle this." I want to scream. "You're bumping up your life insurance. Holt hasn't left his office. Charles is a quivering snappy mess and stuffing himself with ethnic cuisine." Charles looks up "Hey!" I glare at him before pointing at Hitchcock and Scully "Even Hitchcock and Scully are just sat there eating peanuts and looking depressed, and I have no fucking idea where Peralta is!" I take a deep breath "Nobody is fucking coping, Terry. Now find me a damn lighter."

Four cigarettes later, I'm lying on my back on the roof letting my anger melt into the cold concrete below me. I needed to apologize to everyone, especially Terry. As for my girlfriend, Rosa was just doing her job; I shouldn't have been so angry with her. I can't stop thinking about these little moments. The first time we met. Going with her to that shitty boring town in the middle of butt fuck nowhere because I was a jealous ass and she told me she had my back. Our first kiss. Coming out to the squad. Jumping off a balcony to chase a perp, only to dislocate my knee and have Rosa reset it. That stupid competition we had over who could solve an unsolvable case first. All these little moments streamed through my mind like one endless reel of film.

I always knew that one day our reel would just... stop, but I didn't expect it to be this soon. I always thought she was going to die in some motorcycle accident aged 82 because she didn't want to give it up. I can't do this. I can't sit here in the freezing cold and think about her. I needed to apologize.

I spent a while composing a voicemail that won't gross Rosa out, given I had just screamed at her in the last one. It turns out 23rd time is the charm. "Rosa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just scared for you. I get that it's your job and I would have done the same. Please look after yourself. I love you." I hang up, only to have her call me back thirty seconds later.

I know if I pick it up, I'll cry and get angry again, so I let her leave a message. I can't bring myself to listen to it. _


End file.
